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January 6, 2021

International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month

International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month

Children are like wet cement. Everything that falls on them leaves an impression. ~ Dr. Haim Ginott, World Acclaimed Child Psychologist

International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month

It is historic. More Divorce filings have occurred in the month of January. This has happened more than any other month. With the popular new year’s resolution ” Start a new life” In mind. For this reason, the month of January has become the international Child-Centered Divorce Awareness month. This month is dedicated to educating parents all over the world. Avoiding the harm they may unknowingly inflict on their children when they pursue non-peaceful divorce processes.

How Does It Affect Children When Parents Get Divorced? Well, It Depends

Unfortunately, divorce can have a negative impact on children. The first year is the hardest, and this is when children start to express feelings of confusion, anger, pain, anxiety, and distress. The age of the children will also play a factor. Young children might feel split between two households, while teenagers harbor anger and “blame” one parent over the other. These feelings can lead to mental health issues, behavior problems, low academic performance, and risk-taking behavior.

However, not all hope is lost. The good news is that with the best approach, you can help children adjust to life after divorce. This can be accomplished by learning how to properly co-parent. Parental fighting and arguments cause distress in children. It is advised that parents avoid putting their child in the middle of their divorce or also blaming them for the divorce. Above all, you should make sure children feel safe and are able to manage their feelings with coping skills.

United Nations Convention on the Right of the Child

31 years ago world leaders made a historic commitment to the children of the world when they adopted the United Nations Convention on the Right of the Child. This was an international agreement about childhood. By the end of 2015, 196 countries had ratified the Convention. Of significance for divorcing parents is the below article from the Convention, which states:

1. Parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child. The views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child.

2. For this purpose, the child shall, in particular, be provided the opportunity to be heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child, either directly, or through a representative or an appropriate body. In a manner consistent with the procedural rules of national law.

Will a collaborative child specialist tell us who should get custody? Attorney Aubrey Ducker Jr. shares his experiences working with divorcing spouses with children. 

The Importance Of Their Voices

The voices of those children are still unheard. For multiple decades, researchers found that divorce has found that children report that the news of their parent’s impending divorce and how their parents divorced made a lasting impression on them, even into their adulthood. Most parents want to prevent emotional and psychological damage to their children during and after divorce but often do not know how to do so.

Divorce is the number one stressor for adults, second only to the death of a loved one. So, it is not surprising that divorcing parents find it challenging to be their highest and best selves for their children’s sake and effectively parent their children.

Research indicates that the number one predictor of children’s maladjustment during and after divorce is the level of conflict between their parents. When parents cannot model an amicable relationship with each other, are angry with each other, and engaged in the “battle” of divorce, their children are caught in the middle, drawn into taking sides, and they suffer. Children cannot deal with these adult situations and cannot process the overwhelming emotions that arise in a “win-lose” divorce.

How Do Parents Become Their Best Selves During Stressful Times?

Children are the real wealth of the family. For more than two decades, I have educated parents about a child-centered, out of court divorce process called Collaborative Divorce. Parents learn how to work together, not fight against each other. They also learn how to keep their children in the center, not in the middle of their divorce. They understand the importance of their children feeling safe and secure to love both parents. And they learn that respectful co-parenting with effective communication skills avoids the common mistakes that can scar their minor and adult children.

The Power Of Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce professional teams include a Neutral Child Specialist, who is the voice of the children. Research indicates that when children have a voice in their parents’ divorce process and can talk with a neutral professional who listens to them and educates them about this difficult family transition they are experiencing, the children are better adjusted, the parents are better adjusted, and the parents’ agreements are more durable. Collaborative Divorce is a win-win for parents and, most importantly, for their children.

What is collaborative divorce? Is collaborative divorce the best style of divorce? 

Orlando Family Law Attorney Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr.

It is never a good decision to leave your child custody case with a judge who does not know your child. If both parties are unable to solve a dispute, the court hears both parties. The court proceeds to decide based on their arguments. If you are looking to improve your chances of a good outcome, get a good child custody attorney. Having an experienced Orlando family divorce attorney on your side will also reduce stress on everyone involved.

Struggling with child custody or a divorce? If you are seeking legal representation contact Attorney Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr. He handles every legal representation from family law to elder law. Call us at (407) 647-7887 or send us a message. Visit Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr’s Office. Attorney Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr. serves Altamonte Springs, Longwood, Maitland, Orlando, Oviedo, Winter Garden, Winter Park, and Winter Springs and surrounding areas.