Choosing a collaborative divorce over ending your marriage in the courtroom can save you time, money, and stress. Simply making the choice to divorce this way is not a guarantee that the divorce will be easy, though. You can make mistakes during your collaborative divorce that set the process back, cost you money, and can make it impossible to complete the process. Understanding these mistakes before you begin the divorce process is the key to avoiding them.
Refusing to Compromise with your Spouse
A collaborative divorce only works when you are willing to compromise with your spouse. Before your first collaborative divorce meeting, sit with your lawyer and make a list of your priorities for the divorce, ranked from highest to lowest. Brainstorm the compromises you are willing to make and those on which you stand firm. If you are not willing to budge at all, you will not be able to reach a mutually satisfying settlement.
Being So Willing to Compromise that you Do Not Advocate for Yourself
The opposite of refusing to budge on your priorities is being so willing to acquiesce to your spouse that you come away from the divorce with nothing you wanted. Remember, this is your divorce too. These are your marital assets, your children, and your future. Be willing to advocate for yourself and know when to put your foot down.
Not Taking Care to Anticipate and Manage Disagreements
You should know where you and your spouse stand on issues like alimony and parenting time before you start working on your collaborative divorce. When you identify your priorities with your lawyer, brainstorm ways to resolve the conflicts that you think will arise. Talk about these conflict resolution strategies with your spouse before the meetings as well and stick to the resolution protocol that you establish.
Being Unrealistic About your Divorce’s Outcome
Your lawyer can help you bring your expectations for the divorce in a realistic direction. Unless your spouse is violent, suffers from a crippling addiction, or otherwise puts your children in danger when they are together, chances are you will not have sole custody of the children. Similarly, do not expect to come away from the divorce with all of your marital assets simply because you worked outside the home while your spouse worked as a homemaker. You are both entitled to a fair share of your marital assets and the opportunity to maintain a consistent relationship with your children. Enter the divorce process knowing that although you will probably not get exactly what you want, you can work with your spouse to reach a settlement that gets you pretty close.
Work with an Experienced Winter Park Collaborative Divorce Lawyer
A collaborative divorce is a great way to complete the divorce process in an amicable, stress-free way. If you are interested in ending your marriage through this process instead of the traditional courtroom divorce, contact Aubrey Law today to schedule your initial consultation with an experienced collaborative divorce lawyer in Winter Park.